Dec 28, 2012

Letting Kids Be Kids..


As a parent, I tend to be a little on the protective side.  My father was a paramedic, my mother has worked at hospitals for as long as I can remember. I heard the stories. And I knew they were the censored versions of the stories.   


Mr HJ moves before thinking.. a trait he unfortunately inherited from me.  He is always covered in bruises. I've watched him somersault out of play equipment, base-jump off a jumping-castle slide (instead of sliding), and he's also put his teeth through his lips more than once (all of which were before the age of 3). His active, gorgeous - but sometimes unpredictable - nature often leaves me a little anxious.

And this anxiety has been on my heart and my mind quite a bit lately.

I don't want to be anxious for my children, I want to enjoy them.  There is so much in this world we can worry about if we truly let ourselves go down that path.  Most importantly, I don't want my children to have anxiety about the world that they live in.   I know our children pick up on more than we could ever convey to them in words.  I want to send them the right message.  I want them to have confidence in themselves and their own ability.  I want them to have wisdom, and the skills they to look after themselves.  I am so incredibly aware that I - in my role as their mother - will influence, shape and mould all of those above things.  If I am anxious about many of the things that they do, how will I truly show them that I have confidence in them?


I stumbled upon a great book, Free Range Kids by Lenore Skenazy, and although I don't agree with everything in her book, it definitely helped me to see how a lot of my parental anxiety was probably irrational.  It helped me to see that being too over-protective would have many negative implications for my children - which was something that I had been suspecting for a while.  I had to relax.  I had to show my children I had confidence in them and their ability.


I still naturally lean towards the protective.  Just the other day HJ was running in and out of the water at the beach.  The surf was quite big.  He is still only learning to swim.  I wanted to tell him to stop.  To come away.  To come out. My husband thankfully could sense my anxiety and had the wisdom to tell me to calm down.  HJ would be okay.  We are right here and can reach him if he needs it.  So instead I just watched.  HJ's joy was huge.  His whole face was beaming.  He was just having so much fun.  My initial reaction to stop him would have robbed him of that joy.   


Sometimes its so hard to just let kids be kids, to let them do their thing.  To let them make their mistakes, and learn from them.  I know I just want to wrap my babies up in cotton wool and protect them from the world.  But if I did, then sure they might not experience some of the hurt - but they would also miss out on a huge amount of joy.  




17 comments:

  1. Aloha,

    I stopped by from Bloggy Moms to say "hey" and to show some sweet support. I found so very much aloha in that group when I was just starting out on my blogging journey, like, just yesterday, and know that you will too.

    I too struggle with how tightly to hold my boys' little hands, just enough that they feel secure and not so tight that I am holding them back. Oh sometimes I would just love to bottle them up safe from the world and hurt of any kind, but then what living would they be doing really? What a beautiful post and the pictures compliment your thoughts so perfectly.

    I'm following you here now and would love it if you'd come grow with us at An Aloha Affair. It's our little attempt to make meaningful connections whilst sharing support for and helping each other grow our beautiful projects. Come join us, if you please.

    So very sweet to meet ya.
    xo,
    Nicole
    localsugarhawaii.com

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  2. And that, my sweet friend, was an unintended novel of a comment. So sorry, it didn't seem so very long when I was typing it out. =)

    Happy New Year to You and Yours.
    xo

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    1. Thank you for your lovely comment!! :) I will definitely pop over to An Aloha Affair and have a look! Your support is so very much appreciated! Welcome to The Active Mum - I hope you enjoy!

      Best wishes!

      Aanika xo

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  3. New follower from the blog hop! Love your blog & can't wait to get to know you more :) Have a great day!
    Rachel
    http://sugar-stripes.blogspot.com/

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    1. Hi Rachel! Thank you so much!! Just popping over to your blog now! :) Xo

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  4. Happy New Year!I love your blog. I found you through Aloha Blog Hop. Stop by and say hi if you get a minute. :)

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    1. Hi Lenetta! Thanks for following! So much appreciated! I'm so glad you enjoy my blog! Will pop over to your's now! :)

      Aanika X

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  5. I love your views on motherhood! When you were describing your son, I was laughing to myself thinking he is such a boy! :-) Found you through Casey!

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    1. Hi Elizabeth Ann!

      Thank you so much for your lovely comment! I'm so glad you enjoyed my post! He definitely is a typical boy, and keeps me on my toes! (Keeps me active I suppose! hehe)

      Have a wonderful day,

      Aanika xo

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  6. hi. i'm following the "aloha friday" blog hop. i would love for you to visit my blog and follow if you like it.

    http://www.blackinkpaperie.blogspot.com

    thanks
    new follower bev

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    1. Hi Bev!

      Thank you so much for the follow! I will head over now to have a look!

      Enjoy your day, and thank you for stopping by!

      Aanika xo

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  7. Hi Aanika! I saw your comment on my Exercise Encouragement Group Blog! I tried to reply to your comment via email but you're a no-reply blogger so I had to stop over here to message you. I will look through the things you submitted and get a post written up as soon as I can! I'll let you know when it is scheduled! :)

    Helen
    Blue Eyed Beauty Blog
    Exercise Encouragement Group Blog

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  8. lovely post. I enjoyed my visit to your blog. I am happy to be a new follower. hopping over to say Aloha( from the hop).Hugs!

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    1. Hi there! Thank you so much! So glad you like it! :) Wishing you a very Happy New Years!

      Aanika xo

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  9. I too sometimes want to protect my kids from even playing! Luckily my husband steps in and reminds me they are kids and it is ok to get dirty and bruised...
    I am your newest follower from the hop..pls follow back if you can.
    your photos are great!!
    happy New year!

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    1. Hi there! Thank you for following! So excited to have you here! Hopping over to your blog now! Wishing you a very happy new years too!

      Aanika X

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  10. Newest follower here! I found you through the blog hop. Cute blog, I can't wait to read more!
    -Melanie@ meandmr.com

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Thank you for your comment! I read and greatly appreciate every single one.

Aanie x